blog stuff

I've just found out about 2 individuals who have had serious consequences for things they've posted on their blog about their pending adoptions from Ethiopia. So I've just edited a couple of posts to take out any possible identifying information about our baby in order to make sure we don't violate any aggreement we've made or the privacy of our child as an Ethiopian citizen. Also I'm considering switching to a site that could be password sensitive so when it's legal, I could feel safe about posting pictures of our family.

Today....on a different note....I'm feeling sad. Today is the day our baby is another month older. But he's not here. With my other kids, these have been significant days. I can remember thinking, "today you're 3 months old, or 8 months old or 10 months old...I want to remember what you are like at this stage." I wanted to capture the smiles, belly laughs, the way they smell....the way they lay their little heads on your shoulder when they're tired. My heart aches.

Also we found out that he does have to be moved this week into a different orphanage. I realize the necessity of this move, but I feel sad for him. Another loss. He lost his mother and then he was in a strange orphanage and then in a hopsital with different caregivers and then back into the strange orphanage. Now that he's used to the nannies there, he has to move again. And probably just when he gets used to the new place, we'll be going over to get him. Sweet little boy......so much change for a little baby.

The last couple of weeks I've been surprisingly unemotional. I spent months crying at the drop of a hat when anyone just mentioned the word adoption. Then once I received the referral I became stone cold. :) But I just emailed Eric to let him know that the "emotional Shea" was back. I can't stop crying. So if you think about it, pray for us and especially for our little one in Ethiopia.